I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
