I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
