Whod you bang
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i may or may not be watching the land before time
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
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