I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize