So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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