based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
