True but thats because hes a fetus.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
