i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
