Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
