We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
