Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
