I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize