I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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