Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
