So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
