my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
