So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
