people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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