the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
