Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
