oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
