dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
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