Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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