I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
