she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
