just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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