Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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