I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
