Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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