Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
