You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
