she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
