i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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