Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
