you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
