Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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