Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
just tell him i said nine months
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
