Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
