Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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