sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
