Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
