if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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