whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
pop tarts are not kleenex
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
