So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Randomize
