i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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