That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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