soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
