I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
