At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You were trust falling into bushes
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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