he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize