do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
