Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
