That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
