you turned your livingroom into a bong?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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