Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
