Sry I called you an 8
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
