By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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