Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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