Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
