hotel room ftw
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
