I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
